FAQ

At Open level, £60 per player, per event. At 3.5 & 4.0 level, £40 per player, per event. The difference in cost reflects the difference in stakes. Put your money where your mouth is.

The same at all levels, whether 3.5, 4.0 or Open: Saturday — 18+ Men's Doubles & 18+ Women's Doubles. Sunday — 18+ Mixed Doubles & 45+ Mixed Doubles.

If you will be 45 or older as at the day your selected competition runs, you are eligible.

In a word: capacity.

Yes and no.

Yes — you can play down in age terms. We have no beef with a 50-year-old veteran choosing to go toe-to-toe with a 21-year-old wonder-kid.

No — an 18-year-old with all of their juicy ligaments still attached cannot take advantage of a partially sighted Grandad Chris nursing an inconvenient hernia and a detached retina.

We actively encourage players to enter in both gendered and mixed events at their chosen levels.

If your DUPR allows, you are welcome to play up, and register for events at both weekends. However, if you defy the rating Gods, and medal at an Open event, you cannot play the following weekend in a 3.5 or 4.0 event (and will be refunded accordingly).

You cannot play in both the 3.5 and 4.0 gendered events, nor can you play in both the 3.5 and 4.0 mixed events. Similarly, you cannot play in both mixed doubles competitions (18+ and 45+) taking place on the same day at the same level.

You can though, for example, play in the 3.5 gendered doubles followed by the 4.0 mixed doubles. We recognise that sometimes a good woman brings out the best in even the most mediocre of men.

If any of the above is confusing — don't worry. The entry form shouldn't allow you to do anything that's forbidden. If it does, we'll be in touch to put things right.

The only guarantees in life are death, taxes, and that Wins-Everything-Julie will win everything.

So, we admit to using the word "anticipated" for a reason. But … this is our promise to you (explained in 90s Britpop terms):

In the event we're Oasis popular and reach maximum capacity — 288 players at Courtside and 576 players at Derby Arena — the prize fund will total £18,000. Well, £18,360 to be precise.

If we're Pulp popular and player entries are less than 100% but equal to or greater than two-thirds of full capacity, the global prize fund may be reduced from the advertised level, and changed in structure, but will at least be equal to 40% of the gross receipts from player entry fees across the entire event.

If we're Charlatans popular and player entries are less than two-thirds but equal to or greater than one-half of full capacity, the global prize fund will be reduced from the advertised level, and changed in structure, but will at least be equal to 25% of the gross receipts from player entry fees across the entire event.

If, God forbid, we're Kula Shaker popular and player entries are less than half of full capacity, then Amber Valley Pickleball Club reserves the right to cancel the event with at least 28-days notice, subject to the guarantee that all registered players will consequentially be refunded in full.

If we're Nickelback popular, we'll put the club into administration. I know they weren't Britpop but that joke was begging to be made.

Subject to the T&Cs spelled out above, and on the assumption we sell out, the anticipated prizes per event are as follows:

Open 18+ Men's, 18+ Women's, 18+ Mixed & 45+ Mixed (per pair):

• Gold£1,000
• Silver£750
• Bronze£500
• 4th£120 (full refund)
• 5th to 8th£60 (half refund)

3.5 & 4.0 18+ Men's, 18+ Women's, 18+ Mixed & 45+ Mixed (per pair):

• Gold£375
• Silver£250
• Bronze£125
• 4th£80 (full refund)
• 5th to 8th£40 (half refund)

This is subject to change in the event player entries fall short of the mark.

Your name, email address, age at the date of the relevant event, DUPR ID, and current DUPR rating.

Also, all the same details for your intended partner if you’re paying as a pair. Or just their name and email address if you’re requesting a registration and payment link for you to send onto them.

Finally, a means of payment.

We're romantics at heart, and so we actively encourage players to enter as a pair.

You can do this in one of two ways:

Either you can give us the relevant details of you and your intended partner and choose to pay for both players at the time of checking out. This locks in both players' registrations (and leaves you to assume the role of debt collector, unless it's a cheeky gift to a loved one). Breathe a sigh of relief.

Or you can give us the relevant details of you and your intended partner and select the option for your partner to pay their own way (go Dutch). You will receive a link within your booking confirmation email to forward on to your partner — it’s then over to them to fulfil their side of the bargain, at which point we’ll match you up. Until your partner has registered and paid, you will not be locked in as a pair. If your partner delays and they get gazumped by more administratively astute models filling up the event, then you will remain registered but will be back on the market, left searching for a better half (or a refund).

We're here to play Pickle Tinder if you are single, ready to mingle, desperate to play, but in need of a date.

If our Cilla Black skills desert us, and we fail to swipe right on a suitable candidate on your behalf, we'll ensure that you're at least reunited with your entry fee.

We shouldn't need to. If you're tempted to play down in an event that you know you're too skilled for, please be the bigger person, and don't break Commandment #11: "Thou shalt not be a dick".

However, conscious that money has an unfortunate way of bringing out the worst in some people, we will try our best to police the situation in the following way:

In order to enter, all players must be DUPR registered, and have a numeric rating compatible with the event they are signing up for.

3.5 = up to 3.999; 4.0 = up to 4.499; and Open = any number goes.

Note: N/R will not cut the mustard here — you have time to get a rating if you don't already have one.

And we’ll be making final checks 28-days before the tournament to ensure that your DUPR score remains compatible with your entered event(s).

If it doesn’t, we’ll move you up (provided there is space to do so) or congratulate you on your progress and refund you in full. We’re keen to protect the integrity of the 3.5 and 4.0 competitions.

If you’re borderline, and there’s scope to cross a threshold before the end of August, we recommend punching up to guard against any possible future disappointment.

Any changes in the 4-weeks before the tournament will be considered irrelevant (given the short timeframe) and will not impact upon eligibility.

Sadly for us, as administrators, yes. FFS.

Assuming we get the numbers, we see all events going something like this:

36 pairs per event; a seeded draw comprising of two halves; 6x groups of 6x pairs.

Round Robin — 5x guaranteed matches — first to 11 (win by 1). Top 2x pairs in each group guaranteed to qualify; 4x best performing 3rd place pairs also qualify (2x pairs from each half of the draw).

Last 16 — first to 11 (win by 1). Quarter-Final — first to 15 (win by 1). Semi-Final — first to 15 (win by 1). Gold/Bronze — best of 3 games (win by 2 in deciding set only, golden point at 14-14).

The above intended format is subject to change depending upon player entries. Once numbers are finalised, a format which maximises the combined player and tournament experience will be devised and published.

Courtside (19/20 Sept):

On the Saturday, the women's event will be between 8am and 2pm, and the men's event will be between 1pm and 7pm.

On the Sunday, the 45+ event will be between 8am and 2pm, and the 18+ event will be between 1pm and 7pm.

Derby Arena (26/27 Sept):

On both days, the 3.5 events will be between 8am and 2pm, and the 4.0 events will be between 1pm and 7pm.

Both venues:

Cut us some slack on the timings please. If we're running behind at any point, just know that it's not due to lack of effort.

Obviously, people are welcome to come early and stay late (including spectators). Everyone loves an atmosphere and some rowdy support. Think darts, but with less people dressed like an avocado.

We think the average wait time between games during the group stages will be 30-minutes. The knock-outs will come thick and fast.

If it's shorter than advertised, you're welcome. If it's longer, we're sorry.

As far as the eye can see.

At Courtside, every match will have a referee.

At Derby Arena, every quarter-final match onwards will have a referee. During the group stages, just under 1 in 3 matches will be refereed.

Neil Lawson-Smith & The Whistle Blowers will be the soundtrack to both weekends. He comes with powers of arrest. Behave yourselves.

Courtside is a purpose built 8-court centre with a cushioned acrylic surface. It's the Sistine Chapel of Pickleball.

Derby Arena is a multi-use indoor leisure venue, with an infield consisting of 13-courts boasting a flexi-beam sprung floor surface topped with polyurethane. It's, like, hard, and, er, woody and shit. Oh, and there's a velodrome with bikes circling overhead at 45mph.

The Franklin X40 is the Official Ball of the Tournament and will be used at both venues.

Show me a competition where there isn't a single moan about the surface/ball combo and I'll show you a unicorn.

Love it or hate it, all 864 players will be dealing with the same conditions. Open your hearts to it and prepare accordingly.

Yes.

There will be live streaming at Courtside, with commentary from Sir Nick Hobbis.

There will be a camera with a scarily long lens but a forgiving soft focus at both venues.

If requested, players can claim a full refund (less a 25% non-refundable administration fee, amounting to £10 or £15 depending upon the event entered) up to 28-days prior to the tournament.

Thereafter, any refund will depend upon a substitute player first being sourced, and, if given, will be capped at 50% of the entry fee(s) (either £20 or £30) to reflect administrative work done to date.

31st August.

Or whenever we sell out. Which could be next month, next week or in the next 24-hours.

Don't risk having to tell your grandkids that you were "almost" at the biggest pickle event of the 21st century, but prioritised binge-watching Legends on Amazon Prime before finding out you were too late.

P.S. Watch Legends on Amazon Prime. Steve Coogan's terrific. But only after registering.